"I think I've kinda figured out why I made my page, to let out some aggression. I take a ton of crap from people at school everyday and I guess I simply like insulting them on the internet in front of the entire world wide web." -Tian Xie

"Have you noticed how whenever people are deep in thought they never smile. That really tells you something about people who smile all the time." -Phil

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." -A. Whitney Brown

"I once had a dream when I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up my pillow was gone" -Tommy Cooper

"Egotistical people are people who spend too much time thinking about themselves and not enough time thinking about me" -Ambrose Pierce

"I'm too lazy to sleep" -Jordan Lee

"I've thought about it and I've decided that the reason that I've created this homepage out of pure hate." -Tian Xie

"I deal with agression issues very maturely and intelligently. I break things." -Tian Xie

"There's one thing I really don't get. Daffy Duck never wears pants yet when he comes out of the shower he's wearing a towel." -Joey (On Friends)

"My nose bleeds seem to correspond to my periods. I don't know why but it's a really funny coincidence." -MT

"Do you know what's wrong with society these days! They sell Buns in six packs and hot dogs in eight packs! Their just telling you to buy 48 buns and hot dogs just to hit the lowest possible multiple. It's ruining the economy I tell you!"
-A name that has been lost in time...

"Look everybody! This playing card sticks to my forehead without me doing anything! Look how shiny my forehead is too! Now look at how shiny the card is after coming into contact with my forehead!" -CM

I had some tasty cheese
Would you like to know what kind
It was Limburger
-A haiku by David Ostrowsky

"Once I put a dollar in a gulibility tester, and I waited there for 45 minutes. Nothing happened, so I tried to get my dollar back, but there was no coin return. I was sad." -miloshe

"Is it, better to do it in the clit? or the vagina?" -scott85

"This is a very hairy bunny." -Tian Xie

"Once I was in the shower and I mistook myself for my sister." -David Ostrowsky

"I thought of a great name for a diabetic cat. Sweet Pee" -David Ostrowsky

"Some people think sex is like jogging... You can last longer the more you do it. Others think that its like golf... You get better the more you do it... I think it's like running down a road swinging a pitching wedge at a whiffle ball."
-A name lost in the internet...

Sex is a sensation
that starts with a temptation
where a boy puts his location
in a girls destination,
to increase the population
for the next generation.
Do you get my explanaton
or do you need a demonstration?
-A name lost in the internet

"Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone."
-A name lost in the internet